Vincent Tanner
During this time as a mentor, I began to really appreciate first-hand the complexities
of growing up through the experience of the pupils. I was taken aback by how responsible the children felt for their own situations at home and how emotionally affected they were by what was happening in their family life.
These formative years as children and adolescents are the building blocks of how we react to events in our day-to-day lives.
I believe we all have a default position and this is developed at an early age stage from the experiences around us at that time. When we are stressed, anxious or frightened we return to this default position. During counselling, I work with you to make sense of the past in order to resolve current issues.
Testimonial:
“ When I was told by my parents that they had found a male therapist, I straight away said no. Once I met Vincent, i knew i was in a safe space to share my thoughts, and talk through my anxiety. Now i’m able to deal with certain situations and problems that may occur. “
Phoebe, 14 years old.
Insurance companies I work with:
AXA
Aviva
BUPA
Cigna
Stephen
‘To be honest I wasn’t very sure on what to expect when I decided I needed to speak to someone again - as I had already had a years worth of CBT behind me which I think only took me so far in my recovery. Not only that - but I don’t think it got to the very core of the issues I was having. My anxiety was relapsing again which was affecting my day to day life and I knew I wasn’t seeing things clearly.
I discovered Vincent through the Hertford Counselling Service website and from previous testimonials I thought he would understand me and what I was going through. On meeting Vincent I was put at ease straight away and to my relief my best hopes were realised as he did seem to understand me from the start. We quickly built a rapport and in doing so were able to get to the core root of the issues I was having in no time. Past experiences that I had thought I had “put to bed” or even had forgotten about long ago came to the surface in our EDMR sessions and I was genuinely surprised how much some past trauma had been affecting my day to day life and how these experiences had shaped who I was without even realising. Vincent allowed me the freedom to accept that I wasn’t at fault for things I had blamed myself for long ago.
EDMR itself is something I had never heard of before but was something I was able to pick up on quite quickly and again I was surprised at just how effective it was to evaluate these past experiences and desensitise myself to these past traumas.
As time went on I certainly noticed my day to day anxiety gradually decreasing, and then eventually to the point that I realised that it may be time to let these sessions go. Which in itself was a hard thing to do, as it had became a part of my routine. Vincent was very understanding and reassuring that I was making the right choice.
Overall I would like to thank Vincent for all his hard work and dedication, and for working with me to help me achieve my goal of reducing my anxiety and low mood. It has certainly changed my life for the better and I couldn’t have done it without him.’
LR, Hertford
‘I cannot thank you enough, Vincent, for the work that you have done with me over the past few years.
It wasn’t until I had children that I became aware that I had never truly come to terms with my father’s passing over twelve years ago. As my children grew older, I realised that I was suffering with mental health problems which were affecting my ability to cope with day-to-day life. I wanted to be able to understand these emotions and feelings so that I could move forward in my life.
As therapy progressed, Vincent helped me to understand how certain events from my past influenced my low self esteem and lack of self-worth. Together we chipped away at things, and he has taught me that although I will always have low moments, I can accept them and have the mindset and skills to work through the dark patches, believing that they will pass. I am so grateful to Vincent for showing me how to do this and for being open and non-judgmental giving me the safe space that I needed to be able to really open up and ‘dig deep’. Our weekly sessions were always a little haven for me – the beautiful building and light, comfortable rooms made me feel at home and never once felt that this wasn’t a place where I could be myself and ‘let it all out’. It is also a huge comfort to know that I can always go back when I feel that things are getting on top of me again and for that I am hugely grateful. Thank you so much Vincent.’